Tuesday, May 26, 2009

middle ground.

he said: because i love old new york. people were so hungry, and everything was much less contrived.

i said: what is that about? it's crazy you're saying this, because i have had this reoccurring thought this past week. we're always trying to recreate the past...we want stuff to resemble how things once were. we all do it all the time.

he said: hmmmm

i said: like the stevie wonder party, everyone talks about how much better it was last year. and the year before that. and the year before that. we are always comparing to how things were before. complaining because everything was so much better back then. WAS IT SO MUCH BETTER? i dunno...

he said: i think the future is scary.

i said: hmmmm

he said: there is something wholesome about the past. we can identify with it because we have lived it.


... from pamela shepard on Vimeo.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

that jumpsuit.

Judy Holliday (June 21, 1921 – June 7, 1965) was a Jewish-American Academy- and Tony Award-winning actress best known for the screwball comedy Born Yesterday and other films. She had a distinctive and endearing New York accent and persona. In 1952, she was called to testify before the Senate Internal Security Subcommittee to "explain" why her name had been linked to Communist front organizations. In spite of her 172 IQ,[2] she was advised to play dumb (like some of her film characters) and did so.[citation needed] She used this technique to avoid giving up names of people she knew to be Communists. Holliday experienced blacklisting during the anti-communist witchhunts of the 1950s and died of cancer in 1965 at the relatively young age of 43.

"You have to be smart to play a dumb blonde over and over and keep the audience's attention without extraordinary physical equipment."

brilliant film.
folks used to write + folks used to act.

*it's amazing what black and white films teach you about color.

Friday, May 15, 2009


"so how did you and uncle joe meet?"

..."girl, in the club. its not there anymore, but
we met at tremors in north raleigh"

"this is getting redundant...i have been here 4 days, and you are the
3rd person to talk about meeting her husband in the club.

"girl yea. i met my man dancin. and you know what else??"


"i knew that he would be my husband that very night. i told my girlfriend"


we sat on the porch as she smoked. my aunt wilma. hails from puerto rico
with her baby face, wide eyes, friendly smile, and wavy, grey streaked hair.

...she's cute, i too would have noticed her in a crowd.

my folks are my friends.


eb wanted me to come to adam's morgan.

milan wanted me to meet her for happy hour.

mom and dad invited me to run to cvs, return the movie to redbox, grab water ice, and CRUISE.

now you tell me how my night unfolded.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

..from a distance...

when you meet someone that

a. doesn't let you slip away after you begin to squirm

b. speaks honest intentions from day 1

c. shares your thoughts

d. pushes you to produce

love them HARD.
...not just because they are loving you,
but because they simply deserve it.

we started over a year ago.
...and we are still progressively getting better.

i have so much control.

1. don't chase the money.

2. understand that your work isn't for everybody.

3. if the project doesn't resonate with you, don't do it.

4. only showcase the work that you believe is worthy of an award.

Monday, May 04, 2009

tonight was so sexy.

i strolled out of my house to make the
9:00pm yoga class.

the teacher ended class
saying "ummm, that was delicious"

Sunday, May 03, 2009

speaking of holy...

today ryan was baptized.

..and not baptized like aunt pam at 7:
7am "mom, i think i wanna be baptized today."

"really pam? why?"

"ummm, its just time" (signal #1 the child is shuckin and jivin, the vague, deep, but not deep at all response)

pause. pause. pause. "well, we'll see how you feel in service"

"yup, i'm doin it"

little pam, goes to church, and sleeps the entire service.

end of service.

mom rubbing me on my back.

"ummm, pam. its call to worship. but i don't think you're..."

"oh no mom. i'm going"

wipe the sleep out of my eyes, hop up. walk down from the balcony.

march to the front. join church.

so sad. i should be really embarrassed by that story.

ryan, on the other hand, is 15. as he told me this morning
"i am a mid-teen. its rough here. i'm not a kid, and i'm not grown."

he's right...he is exiting childhood and growing up.
thinking independently. moving in his own time. and making decisions
for himself.

wanna see/hear/feel some more religion?

When I Grow Up from Fever Ray on Vimeo.

i BELIEVE in her.

Friday, May 01, 2009