Tuesday, October 31, 2006

feliz halloween!

we entertain one another wayyyyyyy too much.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

zora told me...no really this past week, she spoke to me....

two things i heard loud and clear...

1. my search for knowledge of things took me into many strange places and adventures. my life wasi n danger several times. if i had not learned how to take care of myself in these circumstances, i could have been maimed or killed on most any day of the several years of my research work. primitive minds are quick to sunshine and quick to anger. some little word, look for gesture can move them either to love or to sticking a knife between your ribs. you have the sense the delicate balance to maintain it.

2. He kept on saying that Negroes did not aim high enough as a rule. They mistook talent for art. One must work. Art was more than inspiration.


what i want for me, is all up to me.

not too contrived...just a comfortable energy. first photo credits for off figure styling in a mag.

Friday, October 13, 2006


hahhahahahhaaaaaaaaa nina looks like she is in her final pose from a breakdancing routine.

gotta love this kid.


90% of those above, i adore. i gotta be a better friend.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

lets see if i can do this write (right)

when she came down the steps, she had a lot of bags in her hands.
she sat down beside me and i noticed that she was wet.

when i emerged from underground everyone started randomly
cursing and sighing heavily.
"son....i hate NY sometimes. i aint neva prepared"
i walked up the steps slower and slower...preparing
myself for what i was about to see.
i watched people hit the top step, and break out into
a run....
should i turn around?
i gotta get home man...

only about 4 more steps to go, and i felt it.
i too was wet.
getting more and more wet with each step i climbed.
i then remembered taking my umbrella out of my bag
that morning.

there he was (again)...this time the girl was asian.


i see dude every morning.
every morning my eyes DANCE.
his skin resembles pure honey.
and his locks drape down his back,
with golden tips. his facial structure is
chisled...everything works. eyes. mouth.
nose...simply a pleasure to even glimpse.

his style is impeccable. like nothing else
i have ever seen. he is the most classic
trendy dresser i have ever observed.
okay, with that said...

every morning, i feel like he doesn't see me.
his eyes gaze right over the area i am standing in...
almost like i'm just another person.
that hurts. (ahhahahahhaaaaaaa...oh man.)

ego aside...i am still interested.
and i still SEE him every morning.

i was standing at the bar.
the drunk woman to my leftt would not stop telling
me how hot the bartender was. the music was
loud, and after hearing her scream this declaration
the 5th time, i chose to listen to the music.
i turned to my left, and he was standing right there.
i froze.
now, this is a big city.
there are a number of parties going on this wednesday night.
why would YOU be here with ME at this indy magazine launch?
...no complaints...
i stood there, and felt him staring at me.
i felt someone touch my hand....i turned to my right.
i see the back of his head...i then glance down at my hand, and
see white fingers.
there was a petite white woman standing between him
and the bar....she is smiling at me from ear to ear...
i look into her face, glance back down at my hand, and
realize that she is talking to me...
"what do u want me to get u to drink?"
no hunnie. i don't care if YOU see me. him...behind you.
"ummm, i'm just getting water, i just had some wine"
"water? WATER? so thats how you stay so fine?"
WHAT? did u just say 'fine'....NOT YOU! damn.
i smiled, and turned the other way.
moments pass, and i feel someone kissing my cheek...
i turn slowly...don't kirk just yet pam.
i give her a look that relays two messages...
1. do not touch me again.
2. if you are completely crazy, i will retreat.

the first look was louder...she retreats.

okay, this is looking like a dead mission.
i am now simply trying to get my water....
no longer interested in meeting my husband, (not now at least).
he leans into my ear...
"i know u don't think you're getting your drink before i get mine"
again, i turn slowly...and i bust out laughing.
not sexy. not even cute.
my usual obnoxious laugh.
he joins me.
hmmm. doesn't matter now.
moments pass.
my hand is being touched again...WHY????????
i glance down, and see his brown hands.
he leans in again, and the bartender arrives.
i pull away for a millisecond to order my water.
still holding his hand, i return only to see him
talking to the fresh white girl.
no. no. NO NO NO NO.
you don't know her.
she is fresh.
my water is on the counter...i pick it up with my
left hand. does dude even realize he is still
holding my hand?
i squeeze his hand...he comes out of convo with her,
and returns to me. i take back my hand, and nod
my head as i walk away.

karla and i never ride the train in together.
this morning we met up.
i was anxious to show her him.
universally so, he was no where to be found.
so typical. i tell her about this man daily...
and he is m.i.a.
as the doors shut, he gracefully eases his
body through the door. nice!
he sits down quickly, and does not see me.
no really, due to logistics, he couldn't.
since we are sitting on the same side of the train,
i tell karla to calmly look his way.
dime? agreed!
at my transfer point i get up, and prepare to exit
the train. he glances up from reading, and his
face of sheer amazement and excitement really
does make my day. HE is now smiling from ear to ear.
but u were holding my hand and talking to her.
still wak.


i've seen him one more time.
again we were riding the train.
i was seated with my head down reading.
when i lifted it at my stop, he stood a couple
feet away from me grinning.


we all crossed the street. wet.
him, her, and myself.
i just looked straight ahead.
this was so much fun at frist....
remarkably, its now getting a bit old.
so what if i'm a hater...


***yesterday i saw 3 raindrops.
like, saw them, suspended in air right before my eyes.
a single drop. it was dope.*****