Thursday, May 29, 2008

mission #2 of 2008

#1 was taylor mcferrin...
totally accomplished.
*he even dedicated a song to me.
tee hee.

#2 to attend one of these parties.
i have been on a sweets fast for a little
over a month...this is my OUT!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

how my eyes see.

quite literally. imagery flashes in my mind.


teacher, teacher please reach those girls in them videos
the little girls just broken queen, confusing bling for soul
danger, there's danger when you take off your clothes,
all your dreams go down the drain girl



i really do like this video.
most scattered post ever? perhaps.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

i just want to love him so hard that he feels confident to do it all.
...and to do it well.

i really dunno what my romantic love looks like.
maybe its a rainbow colored meteor,
on a sunny day,
in mexico.


Sunday, May 18, 2008

...typical saturday night.

this is my scene.
and looking at it from the outside...
just doesn't look so fun.

trend forcast for 2009:
looking clean, polished, and groomed will = a dope look

dead trend for 2008:
slightly conscious, worn down, listless will no longer = a dope look
(no pun intended)

Saturday, May 17, 2008

this way.

there is a very thin string that is planted perfectly in between my breasts.
it isn't cumbersome or uncomfortable...its just there.
usually i follow its tugs and pulls.
i don't question its direction...
i actually rely on it.

only when i get yanked so hard that my skin breaks do i slightly
regret it being apart of me. luckily that only happens
when i am not paying attention.
i am working on being more attentive.

a scarred up chest on a pretty girl is quite alright.
i will never take scissors to my string.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

thinking about me.

how do i look?

bay windows.
nail polish.
oxford shirts.
dark hardwood floors.
transparent figurines.
amber lighting.
fluffy pillows.
loaded salads.
hidden text.
melancholy music. (it becomes visible)
high gloss.

taavo somer inspired me.
my new malcolm gladwell.

focus it all:


Monday, May 12, 2008


a couple of months ago i wrote out the words.
they were GREAT WORDS.
and now this!?!??!

what more can a girl ask for....

Friday, May 09, 2008

my gospel.

my left foot stands in jerusalem.
my right toes tap in sodom and gamore.

back when we met...i think i had a better understanding of me
you told me that i was beautiful and brilliant.
over and over and over again.
i was honored to have your attention.
i quickly became a first lady.
"is she tall enough? is she light enough?"
it threw me off a bit...but i was up for changing
the minds of those doubtful.
your family and friends approved of me.
i was relieved. because i really wanted to be yours.

we linked.
we grew.
we matched.

i was mary.
i was bathsheba.

i was a pure deceiver.


pray for me folks.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

contrary blood.

my mom says that my laughter is infectious...she loves to make me laugh.
my father says that i play too much..."life isn't a game pam".

no one should ever question why i am the way i am.


i am not in the mood to listen to or observe anyone's lessons.
i'm feeling exploratory.
...i'll figure it out. whatever it may be.

things to do:

take a shower in the rain.
buy a bicycle.
purchase a poloroid and lots and lots of film. (they're done in 2009).
build some stuff for my house. (let the materials be inspiring stuff i find laying around)
make my own smoothies. (and loaded salads)
and climb a tree. a tall tall tree.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008


...its virtual crack. and drugs are bad. get out while you can...

Saturday, May 03, 2008

color psychology.

you can play too...

Your Existing Situation

Hopes to obtain an improved position and greater prestige, so that she can procure for herself more of the things she has had to do without.

Your Stress Sources

Resists any form of pressure from others and insists on her independence as an individual. Wants to make up her own mind without interference, to draw her own conclusions and arrive at her own decisions. Detests uniformity and mediocrity. As she wants to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions, she find it difficult to admit to being wrong, while at times she is reluctant to accept or understand another's point of view.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Willing to participate and to allow herself to become involved, but tries to fend off conflict and disturbance in order to reduce tension. Feels rather isolated and alone, but is too reserved to allow herself to form deep attachments. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Your Desired Objective

Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in action. Activity is directed towards success or conquest and there is a desire to live life to the fullest.

Your Actual Problem

Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.

Your Actual Problem #2

Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts

....thanks shay.