the routine

it happens about once a month where every single person i know gets on my nerves.
...and its not the same time of the month as my period.

poor me (and perhaps you)

....
fall is aqui. so as always, i become more reflective and productive.
its the time of the year to put on some clothes, and to say your
bedtime prayers every single night. you must crane your neck to
look at the sky more often, and make it a point to call
your brother weekly. you remember to honor both time
and obligations. finally, you drink and dance a lot less.

.....

musica:
tv on the radio (stork and owl, and family tree)
raphael saadiq

libros:
chasing cool (by noah kerner and gene pressman)

juegos:
apples to apples

peliculas:
ATL


........
***father bought me a tape recorder (cassette tapes only) soooo i'm pretty much documenting it all these days.

handiwork.

i woke up early this morning.
i had a meeting with the director of
visual merchandising for donna karen.
*drumroll*...i am now a freelance
merchandiser for their flagship store.

i made it to work on time after my meeting.
i love that i can make things move +
happen in the boutique. my presence
makes a difference. its nice to know
that. the new goal is trying to figure out
how to elevate my role within the
m+fg company. i decided today...
i am thankful for my job.

after work i had a creative meeting
for an editorial project that i am working on.
its a competition surrounding the theme
of luxury. i love being around people
that speak smart when it comes to
aligning their hearts + eyes.
i'm excited.


.......
i have fairly attractive hands.
minus a couple of small scars,
and my bitten cuticles (eww, i know)
they are close to flawless.

i think.

they look their very best when
they are not touching one another.
its the worst feeling when i look
down, and their sitting on top
of one another. i feel sick.
...and i don't really like myself in
that moment.

happy hands create a happy pam.
busy hands inspire a thoughtful pam

work
work
work

its sewing time!

monday treats...

i can hear the song better.



eyeballs are such a gift.
...and heartbeats too.

blurred buoyancy

twenty five

it means:
really trying hard to think before i speak.
...and not compromising uneasy insides for the comfort of others. ever.

learning to balance risk and risk management.
understanding that not everyone likes me...and not everyone should.

setting some goals for tomorrow, and perhaps even the day after that.
exercising. period.

honoring the blaring signs...
and above all...being. more. quiet.

a lot more quiet.

i can do this.

......

i am a quarter.

i have something.

and i'm okay with how it looks.

shiny and promising.

and they say...

that a child shall lead us.

http://tavi-thenewgirlintown.blogspot.com/

she. is. brilliant.
and colorful.

so fortunate to have such a combination.

learning the new.

he says that i'm complicated.
i say that i'm guarded.
he concludes that that is what makes me complicated.
and then he kissed me.

....
a lot of what he said is undeniable.
and as i began to offer aggressive
rebuttals, i had to quickly digress,
acknowledging their lack of validity.

"the world is yours...
you can either walk this way, where you have
only one destination (his home).
or you can walk that way where i'm sure you
have many potential destinations
(the general direction of my home)."


my romantic efforts are clearly not translating into
commitment. MANY DESTINATIONS?
that means a couple of things

1. something about me/my lifestyle suggests that
i have have many suitors.

2. he's in some way insecure when it comes to me/my
lifestyle.

i have chosen to give him my undivided attention.
...and i'm trying.

"you live in your head...want to share some
of those thoughts?"

i smiled, put my hands on my head, and broke eye contact.
i started staring at my boots.
"ummmm...thinking about my next move"

his hands slid down my hips as i stepped back.

i looked at him hard. its a new day, and new people are scary to me.
scary. iffy. suspect. i dunno...everything but safe.
a couple of months is a cute span of time.

.........

i thought for a moment, and i leaned in to kiss him

.........

i had to go home.
no need in bringing any further complications
into his personal space.

what it looks like when you chase the sun...

for you.

the hours go by...

tick.

tick.

tick.

you cannot find peace by avoiding life.

nicole kidman said so.