and its okay.
for the past three years i
have been pretty faithful
to the adventures of wild
cowgirl and her fly posse.
its been a safe space and
i really have enjoyed our
...no worries, i plan
to continue a future together...
its just that we now have
a new member to our non-
i worked hard get him
(yes, he is a man)
to join us. but after this
brief trial period, i think
that us three are going
to make a fairly functional
i will try to lead by
the way i would like
to be treated. its important
that we honor one another,
not get too posessive,
and understand that its okay
to branch out...gain
new interests and see new
me + wild cowgirl + infinite critique =
... good shit.
tonight i had plans.
she needed time alone...so i let her be.
he didn't receive me...so i let him go.
she was with her dude...so i stopped trying.
i went through a phase where i preferred to attend
events alone. ...sadly, its over. i've become
dependent on having someone that knows my humor,
provides cosmic touches, and allows us to
exist in our personalized world. and thats
cool...but what's not cool is me avoiding
stuff just because i don't have a sidekick.
i walked to braodway lafayette...
okay...i'm still going.
got to west 4th....
mannnn...ima just go back to brooklyn.
continued uptown on the C...
its so far on the westside, i should turn around.
got to 23rd....
i surfaced. decided that i was hungry. and dipped into a salad bar.
i ate in a corner listening to jdavey interlude. (on repeat)
i asked myself...
"what are you doing with your life?...whats your purpose?"
it came out of nowhere...
i really didn't have an answer prepared...
nor did i feel like talking about it.
"you never know. do you really want to float? why are you here?"
i was so persistent and quick.
"i dunno. for people...helping people. clothes. colors...i dunno"
"yea, you never know."
i was irritated with me. both of me.
so i left.
and i walked to the show.
i looked for nothing, and i found it all.
i'm proud of me.
i don't feel like setting up the context...
but tina fey just said "bitch is the new black"
...bad bad joke.