Monday, September 24, 2007

for claude.

she keeps saying that i am hiding from her.
...perhaps i am, but only partially.
it's my physical make up...there are some things
that i honestly cannot change.

it was so weird to her her say those words.
i mean it is least i think its obvious.
she has to know that the only reason i breathe is
because of her.
it's her light that allows me to live.
i need her to exist.

she is above me...bigger than both me and most.
its only about once a year where i am forced
to shed skin for her. and she loves to see me naked.
not that she has requested for me to expose myself...i
just get this odd feeling like i will die if i don't.

it's as though my soul is begging me to be real with
her...real with myself. and during this time i am simply
quiet and still. this is when she chooses to listen
the hardest. she listens to me...and the best that
i have to offer her is my blank and empty silence.

in no way am i puffed up or adorned.
its just me...and she listens...she treasures me
honesty...which apparently is only heard when
i am silent.

the fact that she respects anything i do is an honor.

its not that i ever intentionally wish to hide from her...
i guess it just happens. perhaps i remember that
she has seen me naked...and i can't even stand seeing
myself naked. i'm ashamed. so i suppose i try to cover
what i don't like about me...and that is quite a bit.

what i don't get is how she seems to love every inch of me.

she is the sun.
i am just a tree.

1 comment:

viridiansun said...

aww... shammy this is lovely. Did you know that my blog is called ViridianSUN? heh... hope no one else thought this was for them. heh. that would be REALLY heartbreaking. ... heh.