Friday, September 22, 2006
balance (mark 25)
within me...i host both good and evil.
according to the st. savin, its not that we're not all tempted...
its simply how we control ourselves.
today i wonder how much i am in control.
what is fueling my motives right now?
is this whole mission 'by any means necessary'?
i have been given gifts.
one being my vision.
i see beauty.
'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'
i get this. i truly get this...i try hard to live by it now.
i may not always feel like
being honest. it can be exhausting,
annoying, painful, even hard.
so i guess i choose not to look.
but when i do look, i always know what
is beautiful and what is honest.
....i gotta stop being lazy.
lately i have been seeing myself everywhere...
in everybody. this city has a different pulse.
the other day, we played a game where we
people watched and guessed whose occupations
he said librarian, i said stripper.
he said bum, i said professor.
he said investment banker, i said investment banker.
so i sat and thought...i wonder how people
may receive me. what would they guess i am?
....there is NO telling.
being here, i feel above no bad situation...but then again
i feel worthy of everything grande. i can glimpse
a blind homeless person and see me. i then can
turn and watch the stylist on set, and see myself
again. i am not a very judgemental person...*ahem*
i try not to be a very judgemental person...but being
in this city i feel like i understand how any person
got to where they are (or seem to be). it all seems
"i have two pockets, each contains a piece of paper with
writing on it, but i only put money in my left pocket," he
said in reply.
"on the piece of paper in my right pocket, i wrote:
i am nothing but dust and ashes. the piece of paper
in my left pocket, where i keep my moeny says:
i am the manifestation of God on Earth. Whenever I
see misery and injustice, I put my hand in my left pocket
and try to help. Whenever I come up against laziness
and indolence, I put my hand in my right pocket and find
I have nothing to give. In this way, I manage to balance
the material and spiritual worlds."
update: paulo coelho asked that i marry him.
instinctively, i smiled and SCREAMED. i do.