slowwww down

its such a frustrating feeling when i cannot calm

down my overactive mind when my body is ready

to rest.

-if i haven't yet received my final answer

-if i can't see the next scene

-if i don't understand his reaction

-if i don't understand my story

i have to mentally repeat

breathe in

breathe out

breathe in

breathe out

....

this mind of mine is experiencing a new phase.

when you don't follow your spirit

you walk into trouble.

i absolutely HATE these moments.

i am angry at myself for not trusting myself...

and allowing someone to talk me out of myself.

i feel prisoner to proceeding in this direction...

because my mind won't swell up to think differently:

offer me alternatives

i want to bow out gracefully.

my dignity is important.

...as is my reputation.

i've changed my mind

i've remembered my intuition

but now i'm in it.

how do i get back out?

(tick tock tick tock)