Thursday, December 11, 2008

cling to nothing.



"pamela, i hope that something marvelous and unusual happens at your job today"

i loved my mother's language...and i realized that i too agreed with those very words.
that phrase became a focused part of my daily prayers.

"ask not, and you'll receive not"

this is how my father titled the subject line of an email about a month ago. and it hit me, i am doing everything, and asking for nothing.

expect your miracle. EXPECT YOUR MIRACLE!

for the past two-three months i have been lying and suddenly falling sick to avoid going to work. my personal projects have been picking up a bit, and i am now apart of the meetings that create visual stories. balancing my dreams and reality have been a challenge...a risky challenge.

i've walked with caution...and jumped when necessary.

the good news is that now i must (jump that is)...it was announced that my store is closing. i sat there and stared into the faces of genuinely hurt and broken co-workers. my heart sank as i began to register that families that would be affected by this change. tears began to shed and heads began to drop. i rubbed backs, gave hugs, declaring that "all is well".

"for you pam. all is well for you! NOT FOR ME."

once the area cleared i sat there alone and began to process what this meant for me.
i smiled.
and smiled.
and smiled.

oh, my God...for me...pamela shepard...this is precisely marvelous and unusual.
wow.

i called my mother...relayed the news...and we spoke about how timely this is for me.

"mama...did i get laid off?"

"....yes pam..."

"mama...do i get unemployment?"

"....yes pam..."

"MAMA IS UNEMPLOYMENT GONNA FUND MY DREAMS????"

"....shutup pamela..."

......

i'm just so grateful. i dunno when i was going to leave...i saw it coming...but i am not sure how much longer i would have tiptoed around to quietly fulfill my dreams.

this is my time.

.......

at 5pm that same day i got a call from donna karen to set up my january work schedule.

9 comments:

shayla said...

He has a plan...

Ashli w/ an Eye said...

I'm excited about your future in the face of the present.

viridiansun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
viridiansun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
viridiansun said...

I left a good job in the city

Working for the man every night and day

And I never lost one minute of sleeping

Worrying bout the way things might have been


Big wheel keep on turning

Proud mary keep on burning

And were rolling, rolling

Rolling on the river

DePaRK said...

The Good Lord Works In Mysterious Ways...Keep shining Alverna!

ms. swifty said...

all things happen for a reason... and right on time, it would seem.

cheers to new beginnings and overdue endings. :) i'm working on my own as we speak...

Linda S. said...

Pam,
This is Nia’s Aunti Linda. Congratulations! Happy FREEDOM day! You have the right attitude. We often ask God to bless us with our dreams but we continue to wallow in our misery. God must sometimes make things so bad where we are to force us to get up and grab our opportunities. Because you were preparing for your blessing while living in a job you are ready to follow your passion now that the opportunity presents. I’ll be looking for your name in the credits…God Bless.
Aunti Linda

yygt trdyth said...


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