beauty overwhelms me...its everywhere

i walked in the house around 10pm. my auntie laid on the couch with many scarves wrapped around her head.
smile..."you look cute"
"pam, only you would think so....you wanna see?"
what the hell is she talking about?
she proceeded to remove all fifteen scarves from her head to reveal her freshly shaven head.
AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh"dude, u look SO CUTE!!!!!"
"shutup pam."

it was less painful for her to just cut it all off. the toxins were not only battling cancer cells randomly dispersed about her breast, but also caused her hair to fall out by the root. her hair had begun to look brittle and broken with patches of her scalp exposed. it just looked like it hurt. whatever that "it" was..somewhere between the cancer and the cure.

........

she worked hard to convince her 15 year old daughter to come with us to the wig store. as much as i tried to inquire courtney's opinion on the various wigs, she made a point to keep her distance. i could see her visible discomfort whenever the asian man (aHA) would remove and replace wigs on her mother's head. however, her issues were in no way comparable to the pain that her mother was obviously in. everyone hurts. i try not to hurt...no real reason to.

i strongly suggest a human hair mid-back length wig. black with a couple of brown streaks. courtney looks at me like i have lost my complete mind, "nah ma...pam is trippin". i then explain to both of them that she can take the hair to a beautician and have her cut into a short, more realistic style (layers). they both agree that its a good idea.

her wig looks cute.
i want a wig.

thursday, june 14, 2006 10am
"hey pam, my girl told me about a breast cancer support group tonight at grady. what you doing tonight?"
"ummmm, coming with you"
"cool, i'll meet you up there at 7:30"

that night i came into contact with some of the most strikingly beautiful women i've ever seen. i don't mean, wow...you've experience struggle and triumph, and your story is beautiful and inspiring...nah, not of that. i mean i saw some bad ass dimes...who just happened to be breast cancer survivors, or surviving. like...really i am tryna be on your level at 46 and 52. their stories were encouraging as well.

the fact that God was constantly acknowledged throughout the meeting did wonders for my spirit. His power and presence was undeniable. and to top it off, the meeting ended in prayer. ahhhh...i love it.



i can only praise God from whom all blesings flow.