tropicana commercial

i was called in to assist for the tropicana commercial directed by peter arnell.
....its a big deal. this is my second commercial, but my first on
this level. andre leon talley is good friend's with the director, and was
present for the rehearsal fitting. (he liked my personal pull for the
yoga concept AND he liked my eyebrows...go figure).
i worked hard.

but i always feel like i can go even further.
be a bit more proactive and be prepared for the next.
.........

"ask your charming assistant, "smiley" over there, to go
pick up the margielas from bergdorf"

her sarcasm was comical...i wasn't smiling or even remotely
charming. not that i was the mean jerk in the corner
with a furrowed brow...i just wasn't performing.
...i was working.

its impressive to me how many of these people in this
industry work through performance. they work
with performance.

i am now understanding that my presence takes up a lot
of space...and that even in my subconscious (probably, more so
in my subconscious) i am affecting people.

i live in my head and show my thoughts.
sigh...i told monique that i have to force my presentation
at times. if i want someone to think that i am enthused
and excited...then i will successfully relay enthusiasm
and excitement. without a doubt. but its something that requires thought....
remembering.

remembering to smile.
my work persona is so drastically different.
.........

i have learned that i do not get inspired by forcing a look.
i get off on molding one.