learning the new.

he says that i'm complicated.
i say that i'm guarded.
he concludes that that is what makes me complicated.
and then he kissed me.

....
a lot of what he said is undeniable.
and as i began to offer aggressive
rebuttals, i had to quickly digress,
acknowledging their lack of validity.

"the world is yours...
you can either walk this way, where you have
only one destination (his home).
or you can walk that way where i'm sure you
have many potential destinations
(the general direction of my home)."


my romantic efforts are clearly not translating into
commitment. MANY DESTINATIONS?
that means a couple of things

1. something about me/my lifestyle suggests that
i have have many suitors.

2. he's in some way insecure when it comes to me/my
lifestyle.

i have chosen to give him my undivided attention.
...and i'm trying.

"you live in your head...want to share some
of those thoughts?"

i smiled, put my hands on my head, and broke eye contact.
i started staring at my boots.
"ummmm...thinking about my next move"

his hands slid down my hips as i stepped back.

i looked at him hard. its a new day, and new people are scary to me.
scary. iffy. suspect. i dunno...everything but safe.
a couple of months is a cute span of time.

.........

i thought for a moment, and i leaned in to kiss him

.........

i had to go home.
no need in bringing any further complications
into his personal space.