blindsighted at my core.

i'm sitting on the train and its somewhere between 3 am and 4 am.
my inner thighs are stiff from the cartwheel races, and my right hip
hurts altogether. i push my butt deeper into the seat, lean over, and press
my elbows into my thighs. i take my glasses off and set them
so that my knees are now wearing them. with my chin in my
hands i begin to look around.

i can't see anything.

faces are blurred. the train feels accelerated, kind of like
a rocket ship. i think. i close my eyes and the sensation
escalates it all feels even more frightening. i turn
my head to the right, my friend is sitting
perfectly still with his eyes closed. his eyelids
aren't even moving...he seems comfortable.

..this strikes me as being odd.

i squint my eyes to make out facial expressions
from the blur of colors surrounding me. everyone
seems genuinely comfortable. i mean, no one
looks uncomfortable. no one seems to look
the way i feel. i place my glasses back onto
my face, feeling like i am moving at a warped speed.

its confirmed...everyone is comfortable.

i look at the seats diagonal from me, and that
guy is sitting there. i see him all the time,
and we always acknowledge one another.
i hope he doesn't think i am shady because
i didn't speak. ....but i guess he didn't speak
either. maybe he saw that i was feeling panicked,
and that i couldn't see. i wouldn't want to speak
to me either.

i have high energy.
i am blind.

..........

makes sense...i did watch STEVIE WONDER sing tonight.