reconcile.

i came here with my arms, my legs, my eyes, my ears, my fingers,
my bellybutton, my toenails...my outer shell.
if i were to part with one of these pieces, it would be a hard
adjustment to make. its just because i've always had
a finger to point with and knees to bend.

i came here with my capillaries, my cells, my nerves, my oxygen,
my bones, my tissue, and my blood. if any of these functions
were disrupted, it could suck. really suck.
maybe i could get an antibiotic, alter my lifestyle,
or sit under the praying hands of aunt bernice. but to
learn hew to be mobile with a broken leg or a massive
blood clot would definitely be a challenge.
one that doesn't excite me.

i came here with a brain.
i came here with a heart.
and i'd like to think that i came here with a soul.

these are the three parts that have the most ailments.
most frequently.
and to think, one of them isn't even visible.
that one is the most trippy.

i am losing perception.
i have lost perception.
i am confusing what has been with me forever
and what is/was transient.

it is amazing, and damn scary, how i cling to
fleeting thoughts, feelings, people, or
even environments as though they have been
with me forever...or like they should be.


like i actually came here with it.

which, now that i think about it, is virtually
impossible because my forever started twenty four
years ago. and so anything that has arrived
after is... just now.


so what's your point pamela?
...get to it.

ummmm...my point is that it would behoove me
to become as flexible as cirque du soliel's
feature contortionist.

okay....

and my point is that nothing is forever.
and i have to understand that.

...if you want to...then you will.

ok. thanks for your patience. and thanks
for listening.

......

psychologists say that everything is a learned behavior
does this solely apply to babies?

and if not, when is the cut off age???
...because there has to be a cut off age...right?