its on repeat.

"please make a movie with me"
he got up shaking his head.
"nahhh...i'm not into that"
"no one is ever gonna see it. this is just for me"
i watched his back as he walked over to his laptop.

he began to play some song.
after about 20 seconds i registered radiohead's videotape.
i laughed.
he did too.
he was visibly amused by how long it took me to make the connection.

we turned the lights off.

i stood up against my bedroom door.
he stepped between my legs and leaned into me.
his movements were slow.
my eyes were closed.
i felt his nose on my collarbone.
he slightly pulled back and traced my neckline from shoulder to shoulder.
i arched my back, pushing my hips into his.

we met.
we barely swayed to the background cadence.

he held the top of my waist.
i lowered my head into his neck.
i had melted...
he was no longer actually touching me.
and i still felt him.
we stood there. lying up.
he forcefully pushed me up against the door.
he moved forward, pressing harder into me.
his lips brushed across mine.

....on videotape.
....on videotape.

the air around us was magic.

i wanted to hear the drums forever...
i hoped thom yorke wouldn't stop...

but he did.
and so did he.

"when i'm at the pearly gates...this will be on my videotape"
....for sure.