God gave me a song.

my father is rich
with houses and land
he holds the power of the world
in his hand.

-

crayola would call her skin sienna.
the most accurate blend from mom and dad.
whenever she smiled her entire body lifted...
she became taller. in exchange and out of
gratitude, you grew too. without saying a
word, her eyes told you everything that
you needed to know. her secrets...her pride...
her concern...when they spoke, you watched to
listen.

despite her foul mouth, flailing and aggressive
limbs, scrapes and scars, courtney's perfect
and undeniable beauty overruled her razor sharp
edges.

strangers only saw a stunning little girl.

....

my father is rich
in houses and land

-

dad's practice was amongst the top.
after buying a spot on old national,
everyone knew my dad was rich.
LOWERY esq...attorney at law
only dad's name on the modest canary colored sign.
he's my dad...so everyone knew that
i'm rich too.

my house was custom built.
dad chose the plot, and we
created our very own neighborhood.
dad. mom. my brother. and me.

6 bedrooms
5 bathrooms
2 stairwells (one spiral)
1 guesthouse
1 apartment
1 pool

that was home. this was my world.

dad taught me the bulk of my lessons outdoors.
i learned to cut the acres of grass just like him.
i practiced outside alone to play basketball just like him.
he even taught me how to cut hair.
i would practice on my little brother's hair...now all the men
of the family get shaped up by me.

mom loved me hard.
and dad was raising me to be just like him.
strong.

....

mom's gone now.
she died not too long ago.
dad had been killing her for a while now.
he's too strong.
yes...she did raise my brother and i...but
its really always been just me and dad.
we yell the loudest (he taught me that).
i trust mom's in a good place.
she was good.
obedient and good.


she whispers:
i've been washed in the blood
of the crucified one
i've been redeemed

.....

it's been dad and me for a long time now.
i am losing more of him each day.
his soul is vanishing...even quicker now.
i know that my brother wants to be anywhere but here.
he misses mom.
and i do too.

the house isn't the same.
scattered, outdated law papers...
a refrigerator filled with leftover takeout...
mildewed bathrooms...
this isn't home.

my father is rich.
and i have no clue where to begin.
but i too need redemption.
i need my mom i barely knew.