in a matter of seconds..

i soooooooo have a job!
and i sooooooooooo like it!
merchandising/dressing/quasi sales (if i was good at it)
in an entirely new environment.
3 days in, and i am SO LEARNING.
deconstructed, french couture...YAY!

www.girbaud.com

(watch fashion shows to see garments-yikes!)

i also got an excited phone call of approval from a
stylist, welcoming me to assist her.
"you were my first interview, and i knew that
i didn't have to interview another person.
you're hungry, you have a solid foundation,
and i know that you will be helpful on my
team".

www.sylviagrieser.com

friday felt good!

......

give thanks

i'm tired

the question is posed...

is it a thorn on a rose
OR
a square peg and a circle hole?

i couldn't give an answer...
...dunno that i care.

www.malsirrah.com

hello,

my name is pamela shepard, and i was so blessed to make it into your show last week. i am a young stylist that has just moved to new york about 6 months ago. i have been working hard to stay focused and not give up my chase as a stylist.
YOUR SHOW MOVED ME IN A MAJOR WAY!
it really spoke to the process that takes place when dealing with love/passion. my faith is big, but there are days where i can get down. constant rejection takes its toll, and can certainly become draining. i applied the labor of love to where i am in my pursuits at the beginning of my career...i understand that this, without a doubt, will take hard work.

i've never had a more beautiful reminder.
thank you.

peace and blessings,
~pamela

...............

Pamela,

Your kind words mean so very much to me... After ten years in this business I am often plagued with similar feelings... But I have recently found my salvation... I owe nothing to "man" only to "mankind"... If you continue to work from a personal place and learn that their is no difference between praise and/or rejection, you will soon see that all that truly matters is the process and the journey... The end result is only the beginning to the next stage...

Stay strong... and stay in touch...

Malcolm

wide awake...

my mom just wants to help.
'i mean...waitressing is a good skill set to have...u wanna look into that?'
.....

a big part of my brain is cloudy.
back when i had a job...i produced great work.
i made it a point to honor my interests, and allot time to create.

now i feel silly. flighty.
i can't commit to one idea...can't articulate too much of anything, and
i now have all the time in the world to DO.

before i moved, many people said the same thing
"stay focused".
my focus is survival.
once that meant making sure i took the time to become a better stylist.
to listen.
to read.
to study.
to write.
to brainstorm.

now this simply means getting money.
by any means necessary.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED?
even in my frustrating hour, God keeps throwing me enough to
keep me in a creative loop.
don't wanna sink. any more.

....

today i realized that im not even speaking to God.
and definitely not listening.
not really.

i am no model...but i like this...

photographer: sarah mccolgan (www.sarahmccolgan.com