grow up!

i am disgusting.
i lack responsibility.
and its officially time to grow up.
now.
.......
yesterday i woke up around 9am.
sat up in my bed, looked out the window and
got extremely excited to see that it was raining hard.
i then slid my body back under the covers, and just laid
there. after about an hour, i pulled out my laptop and
began to research paid internships in london. applied
for a couple of jobs. responded to a couple of emails.
planned shoots with photographers. i finally hopped
out of the bed around noon. so on any other day, noon
is the hour before i get off of work. hmmmm.
i got up.
decided to stay home and look for a new job.
didn't even call my job to say i wasn't coming in.
and was COMPLETELY OKAY WITH MY BEHAVIOR.
ugh.
that was trifling, and i vow to never do that again.
before i went to sleep i told myself....don't lie tomorrow.

.....no one said a word to me. just welcomed me with smiles.....
WHAT?
i deserve so little of what i have.
geez.
............

yesterday jabari called me around 5pm
"get up, and meet me at turner field. the show is at 7:30.
i have tickets for you, lets to to the circus"
oh wow. i was excited, but not really, because by that time of the
day i had become irritated with my actions (or lack of) from earlier in the
day. i told him to stay by the phone.
i called bridget...
"hello sister...what ya'll doin?"
"nothing. i do nothing now pam."
"okay...."
"i put in my 2 weeks notice, and valentines day was my last day"
oh wow.
bridget has spoken of how much she has despised her job in corporate
for at least 3 years now. over time it has only gotten worst. her husband
skipped town to pursue his dream. quit his job, and is now in LA.
she has followed his lead.
"we prepared for this, so that if we don't work for a year, the family would
be okay"
so much inspiration within my own family.
i am soooooooo ready to work. work more. produce better.

they went to the circus last night
..........
y-3 party friday night.
gotta get my stuff together...i will be a walking advertisement.
...........
BIG UPS TO TERESA....npr makes the world go round.
such a big deal.
do you get it?
that consumed my thoughts all of yesterday.
your journey is gonna be fun to watch....has been thus far.