tryna holla at some of that KING KONG love!

yo.....

america creates the craziest shit to praise/celebrate/recognize white blonde haired women....
king kong was ji sexy?
i mean...dude saved her....challenged her....protected her....fought 4 her.....sought after her....
LOVED HER.
i was cryin so hard it was ridiculous.
the child in the movie on the island was flawless....the people of the island were nice to look at
beautiful folk.
the movie depicted white people well...
the movie was pretty....not an excess of dialogue (i like that)
i am finally growing up...because i didn't keep my eyes covered the entire movie
dunno...i liked it. a lot. surprisingly.

anywho....
for once, i don't think i'm seeking love (sigh, even though knowing me, i secretly somehow still probably am). just seeking truth. yea....i romantacize everything. EVERYTHING. and now i am just taking stuff for what it is....not working so hard....trying to just let life happen.
S C R E A M. its so hard for me not to be involved....

we kicked it at javaology and he stepped me through the creation of my myspace account. as a mucisian that gets mad connects and business thru myspace....he felt like it would be a great
way to promote myself as a stylist. he is such a flirt...and its funny because when i look at him i literally see my 10 year old cousin. he's 34.
"just come thru with me tonight to eat sushi with my friends. its my friend's birthday and we are celebrating. u can be my date"
thinking. thinking. thinking. "oh nahhhh...."
"why not?"
"i dunno u like that and i hate being the one person that knows no one in already formed cliques. i'm cool on that, thanks though"
he looks at me and after a long pause, busted out laughing. "yea, i feel u. i don't like being the outsider either. okay well look, after that i am going to a small party at earthlink. wanna come there?"
"damn dude...aren't u quite the night owl. ummmmm....yea. i guess. i hope there aren't a lot of people. how long do u think it'll last? what u just want me to meet u up there? damn..i look like a teacher, i gotta go home and change....."

he just stares at me.
"u done?"
"sorry...yes."
"good. we won't be out all night grandma. meet me up there in an hour. u look great, don't change"

.....eddie murphy RAW voice...."ok"
as we leave i wave goodbye to the BEAUTIFUL young man that is the cashier at the shop.
"damn girl he was anxious for u to turn around and wave. its so obvious u want him"
whoa..."i've learned the difference between finding people attractive and actually being interested"
"ohhhh u have sensei? well teach me"

we went our seperate ways.
we met again.
"dammit girl! u changed."
"shutup. i don't go out after 6 lookin like a teacher"

i like our energy. its not forced. it is what it is. i'm comfortable.

we walk up the stairs to earthlink...and i too, simply because i'm with him, am somebody.
anthony. ANTHONY. aNtHoNy......everyone is hollerin at dude...
we take the elevator up to the loft...and we walk into this great space with a great band.
he guides me in front of him...i see a couple folks i know...and he is straight working....
exchanging cards, cds, catching up with folks....workin.
he keeps saying "ok, i don't want to leave u here alone....i just"
"dude...this is what u do. this is business. go to work. i'm cool. i can stand alone. contently even"
he smiles.
I HAD SO MUCH FUN. i enjoyed meeting with new people. dancing to the band. standing in a space pretty much off to myself. experiencing new talent. being move.d it was nice. really nice.
he kept coming around to check up on me. it was peace.

we had simple talk. updated one another on whats coming up in one another's lives....got in our cars...went our seperate ways....


.........5 minutes later.....
"pam. are u home yet?"
"ugh. nope."
"lets go dance. lets go to the peacock"
"now?"
"yup"
"ok"

we went.
we danced.
we laughed.
we talked.

and nothing was forced. nothing. it really was like old friends kickin it.

its always to find a guy and feel like he can just be a friend.
thanks anthony! i really appreciated the purity of thursday night.
......

now back to that KING KONG love...i met a photographer at friday's shoot....sigh.
LOL. ima mess.
still love u Heart!
wish i had a seperate heart, so that this heart could have the simple role of feeling the love that i have for it. one heart to give. one to receive.
damn...that would be a doosie.