thanks mississippi

...yeah about that show...
first and foremost...GLORY BE TO GOD. your presence is real...i couldn't deny it if i wanted to...and i thank you for choosing to deal with me. wow. i'm am such a mess, and the mere of that is overwhelming. out of all of your children you choose to give me personal attention.
thank you.

sigh....i could no longer sit on the idea of girls walking around with jeans and tshirts. it was beginning to eat away at me. in an annoying kinda way. friday afternoon i met with one of the three partners at javaology....the first words out of her mouth to jump off the meeting...
"one of my partners is in mississppi, and will not be back until 4pm tomorrow. (day of the show) and i have no idea where my other partner is. we need clothes because we are uncertain as to whether or not the clothes that we are supposed to be getting will even come thru. this is a mess. there is an urgency for us to get clothes".

i sit there thinking...."hi melissa, good to see u too" instead i embrace her, tell her that i have been exactly where she is, assure her that everything will work out and that a great production will be produced, and then we proceed to talk. in conclusion, i was asked to use some of my resources to try and get more clothes. now that i think of it, it is amazing that the no parts of me questioned whether or not i would be able to get clothes, fire clothes at that, in less than 24 hours for a show the following night. she left me with the men's clothes, and i proceeded with my day.

i woke up saturday morning ready to begin my day. my mother's flight left at 4pm, but i had to say goodbye to her early because i knew that i had a full day ahead of me. we hugged and kissed one another and whispered our adioses. i was out of the house by 10, and at bad rags by 11. i left there with 4 pieces....God bless monica. i then went to shoe freak.....left with 2 pairs of seven jeans, and a million shirts....and with an invitation to return for shoes later. i was headed to (hmmmmm, how do i go about this, don't wanna put her business out there). okay. i couldn't get in touch with the owner of the last boutique. her line was staying busy for her home phone. eventually she called me back sounding absolutely drained.
"yea, so last night i spent time with the woman that my husband has been having an affair with"
whoa.
"ARE U OKAY?"
"yup.....i like her."
"HOW'S YOUR HEART?"
"100% better"
.....another story for another day.
after hearing that i didn't even want to ask her for anything
"pam, what were you calling for?"
once i told her, she provided me with the illest jewelry and clothes. her store alone was about to make the show.

women. wow. and i'm one too. i'm honored.

this night was long...the story is longer....
basically i worked hard to organize three solid scenes. i worked to match up jewerly, shoes, purses, put together pieces....i had 3 solid scenes with clear concepts. i sat down with the models and gave them the prep talks

"you love these clothes, you respect these clothes, you honor these clothes, you do not do anything to hurt these clothes. be careful, i don't want to see any makeup....rips, nothing. if it doesn't fit, do not force it!"
.................sidebar.............
during the fitting earlier in the day i felt tension from the mississippi partner. it eventually surfaced that she was mad at the partner that i met with for questioning her ability to come thru with the clothes. and her irritation was being channeled my direction, and i believe its because i came thru with better clothes at the drop of a dime. and i don't say that in a cocky way, but my clothes were of more quality and more interesting and fun to watch at a fashion show. her other two lines consisted of denim.
..........we're back...........

i set three scenes.
innercity coutoure
vintage soul
and my store (the third store i went to)....can't catch me....
scene 1.....i dress the girls...the girls walk....done
scene 2......i dress the girls....the girls walk....done
scene 3.......i dress the girls.....the girls walk....prepare for final walk.

at this point the girls look flawless. this is a finale.....memorable. i was pleased at an all time high. models line up to take their final walk. mississippi comes out of no where...."guys we're gonna get the leftover clothes and do a fourth scene".

pamela shepard is livid! yo....God was in me, cuz i was somehow controlled and composed....but my soul was literally on fire. mississippi threw together random pieces from each line....told the girls to grab jewelry and get ready to walk....

(calm down pam.....)
i am no longer in control. models are running up to me asking me how they look. i coulda screamed that they looked horrible. it was in me to throw a fit and refuse the models to walk out in those clothes. nia rubbed my back and told me it would be okay. i love her for that 1 moment. it was effective.

i began to gather together my clothes....and go off to be away from everyone.
javaology partner "are u okay?"
me "nah, but i'm not putting another ounce of energy into this until this is over"
javaology partner "oh no....what happened?"
me: "not now".

so of course she badgered me a good three more times...and i keep tellin her to just wait...we'll talk. the models return...and i congratulate them on a job well done. they're oblivious...and really i have no beef with them at all. they're tellin me how great i did....how much they wanna work together in the future....blah blah blah. yay models.

mississippi approaches me....
"i didn't mean to offend u....but u just have to know my personality. and i thought it was best for me to make an executive decision and extend the show....i didn't mean to offend u, u just have to know me"

......sidebar....knowing ur personality makes u being wrong acceptable? KILL THAT!.........

me.....
a CALM ME.....
"u have every right to make executive decisions, just know that the way u went about making that one was extremely unprofessional. this is my work with my signature on it. we all have roles...i am the stylist. things become problematic when you begin to step outside of your role."

irritated mississippi.....
"WELL....i am being woman enuff to come up to you and tell u that i didn't mean to offend u. u really do just have to know me....i'm sayin....i thought the show needed to be longer."

a CALMER ME....
"cool hun...u felt the show should have been longer. communicate that next time. stuff comes up and decisions need to be made, but its best when everyone knows. u articulated nothing to me. there was confusion from me to the models. and as a result there was no consistency in that last scene. i think its cool if u take the time to speak on it..."

and that was that.
GIVE ME A STANDING OVATION. i spoke in truth, not in a spiteful manner, and i had a calmness. the biggest thing is that i am striving for this to be my career. everything that my name is behind needs to be golden. so when i am asked to get clothes for a show (as a stylist, someone who just puts stuff together and doesn't actually retrive clothes) i do it, and make sure that they are the best clothes i can contribute. why? because i am affiliated with the project. sometimes u just have to do what u have to do. and i did. i worked hard man. and it still came out ....ugh. wrong.

life happens....
i waved goodbye to everyone and left with a smile. i want this to be my profession and i refuse to act stank due to a reactionary spirit. your attitude is your reputation. thanks mississppi, u challenged me. and i am pleased with my outcome. i gotta learn somehow.

i have faith that it will be better next time.