hmmmm....topic? men.

last night...her boyfriend kept staring at me
today....he acted like he couldn't pinpoint where he remembered me from
now....he screams little sister, but acts like we're a seasoned couple

they walk in and immediately, they command everyone's attention. "they are just the cutest couple...they compliment one another so well". i must say, they are cute. phyiscally at least. i look at him and all i can think is "pam, don't get it twisted...that night i noticed my girl i noticed you too". who says that? i mean really, who would actually come out of their mouth and say that to their girlfriends girl? everytime i look up, he's looking down at me. on the other side of the room in conversation, he glances from under his hat to listen attentively. ugh. no me gusta that guy.
...


it is about 11am on a saturday morning. hot as hell outside. i look straight like a lil b-girl with my swish swish pants...dunks...jean jacket...not a day that i cared too much about my appearance. i hop out the car and being pumping my gas.
"damn sis...ur shoes are fresh"....ahahaaaa now lookin back on it, that sounds like such other-era lingo. well...it is. i turn around. cutie. "WHY, thank you!" we start talking. he says he has fam in maryland...asks me where i go to school...what i like to do for fun...whether or not i like art.....and if he can call me sometime.

spelman.
be in the company of my friends.
yes.
SURE.

he never called.

walk into my office at my new cool job. and who is standing right there...him. jabari happens to be his name. . he looks at me...i look at him...i acknowledge him with a head nod...and he smiles. dammit! not here. not at my new job. he makes it a point to talk on the phone directly outside my window. heh hehe heh. boys slay me. the boss introduces us. he comes out the mouth "oh man...i see her everywhere...she is quite the social butterfly".

no u didn't. no u did NOT just say that to the man i work for. dummy. so he is the man behind arts beats and lyrics. yeah...perhaps he has seen me a lotta places outside the gas station, because i have surely been to a couple of his events. sigh...so yeah thats my co worker

....
everytime i turn...he is there...we always see one another in the same space. he makes his presence known. he is actually quite beautiful. one day he had on a gray sut with a pink shirt and i was so tempted to approach him and speak on his beauty. i decided to hold my tongue. even though its only from a distance, there has always been some unspoken chemistry between us. i choose to keep the distance.

one night he decides to bogard the conversation that i am having with a homeless man. its funny how people often assume your comfort level...well anyway, he saw himself as my savior that night. men, man. slay me! we conversed...and he actually turned out to be quite the character. borderline odd. but cool as hell. morehouse grad...hmmm.

"so what do you do"
...'nothing"...
"okay...you do nothing?"
"yeah, i just quit my job, so now i do nothing. tryna find a home now. i live with my mom"
"oh my..."

so granted...this bama does everything in his power to make himself out to be a common loser. definitely is an architect. just left a company for 9 years in boston. now in the beginning stages of his own firm.

he is 32. pause...thinking thinking...the eye area of his face captivates me. he knows it. he does everything in his power to touch me...and to be close to me. more often that not i play oblivious. conversations with him actually do drain me. i have to take breaks in the midst of our conversations just to give my brain a break. he knows this too. he listens well. he speaks on the compatibility of our signs.

"you are my estella bonia from the 4th grade"

jesus.