dames.

26 looks good.

feels eh...

definitely looks good.

slowwww down

its such a frustrating feeling when i cannot calm

down my overactive mind when my body is ready

to rest.

-if i haven't yet received my final answer

-if i can't see the next scene

-if i don't understand his reaction

-if i don't understand my story

i have to mentally repeat

breathe in

breathe out

breathe in

breathe out

....

this mind of mine is experiencing a new phase.

when you don't follow your spirit

you walk into trouble.

i absolutely HATE these moments.

i am angry at myself for not trusting myself...

and allowing someone to talk me out of myself.

i feel prisoner to proceeding in this direction...

because my mind won't swell up to think differently:

offer me alternatives

i want to bow out gracefully.

my dignity is important.

...as is my reputation.

i've changed my mind

i've remembered my intuition

but now i'm in it.

how do i get back out?

(tick tock tick tock)

stuck

we drank haitian rum with lemon juice.

its now time to go to sleep.

i expect to feel better in the morning.

he is running full steam...

its his time.



cheers to kehinde.

MY FAVE BY FAR!

she has good vision from pamela shepard on Vimeo.

i literally just got back

kizzy.riverhead.peaches.submercer.longislandcity.barricou.fortgreene.condo.meetingtime.newpaltz.rockclimbing.

in 3 days....

this city is exhausting.

new season.

many moons ago

red light special.

let it be known

Cheeba feat. Bilal from Plug Research on Vimeo.

that i am looking for someone.

...give me 3 months.

at the very most- we have 3 degrees of

separation. this will happen.

circa 1992

location - mcdonalds drive thru

long silence

8 year old pam- robin...i have a question.

17 year old robin- what?

8p- i think its kind of weird

17r- that's okay...what is it?

8p- well i am looking at the guy in the car in front of us.

17r - mmhm

8p- and, i think he's black.

17r- okay...and i think you're right

8p- SO WAIT! you can tell what race
someone is by how the back of their head looks?

17r- ummm, sometimes you can.

8p- that's like...psychic.

17r- it's not at all like being psychic.

YVES SAINT LAURENT!

y marisa.

*giggle* thank you grace.

noted

according to my gmail archives (which represent a huge part of my life)

i say the word "keep" far more than i say "release".

about 5 times more.

i gotta get over being so hesitant about letting things go.

from whichever way you look at it.

you can't turn me away.

excitedly, the model asked...ARE YOU FRENCH TOO?

"nope...i'm american. a black girl from maryland...."

-"WHERE!?!"

(smile)

......

my critique of the day:

Beau style, étrange et élégant !

oh to be called both strange and elegant!

dad said

no one is going to represent you like you.

stay present.

people will remember you pam.

and if necessary, don't shy away from reminding them.

...i know you did it for christmas. did you market

yourself for valentines day?

......................

i love that man.

strategy

feel it out.

lurk...and ease into spaces.

less face.

make magic.

.....

i am finding my power.

sharing my gifts.

i am always drawn to color

but these days i am seeing so much in black in white.

even the things that ordinarily offer color.

i am liking this phase...i am learning so much about

texture, patterns, silhouettes, and composition.

....

a long time ago a seasoned stylist told me

"watch the mary tyler moore show...you will

learn everything about color theory. the

director was color blind, and the palette of

that show has such a system."

she also suggested study i love lucy to learn about contrast.

(head bowed)

...

...i had to.

why am i 26?

i like young boys these days.

i feel like he could take care of me.

(am i out of line right now?)

....

30+ dudes...take notes.

this is very important.

gucci spring 10

..that is all.