the big and small of it all

so much pressure
and so today i died.
and inherited a legion of idiot giants.
we met somewhere between the white clouds and the green tree tops.
green as in purple, of course.
some of the idiot giants hailed me as God...they understood that She lived in the sky.
but I am no God, I am merely...
one of them.
an idiot giant in my own right, yet the size of an infant in their eyes
they are always looking down in my direction, yet no one seems to really see me.

all me. now.

listless, lackadaisical loud lips learning literary life.

maniacal mastermind meddling, misguided, making mischief.

nomadic naysayers navigating natural narcissism.

overactive ovaries obliviously outpouring optimism.

passionate particularities powerfully propelling preference.

.......

that came quick.

but now i'm tired.

i do work...

i always show up on time.
rarely leave early.
when i'm mad, i actually think before i speak.
and i only gossip about once a week.

they like me because:
i'm black and tall.
i'm thorough.
i can generate hearty laughter.
i initiate "food runs".
i have single-handedly shifted the visuals.


they pay me for my ideas.
and i work hard for that money.








very hard.

it was all a dream!

pretty women. thunderous laughter. peaceful space. british accents. boca burgers. beyonce choreography. hand holding. pastel creations. relationship analysis. afro punk. tiona. sunday brunch. church clap. suggestive inquiry. barbie + deron. midday nap. wall-e/obama. atlanta revisited. nighttime stroll. color blind. locks + natural. astrology guru. 3am buzzer. unfinished business. quiet time. silent healing.
movie magic. different opinions. cameras clicking. hair braiding. pork + beans. missed calls. liquor + (his) wine. reconciliation meet-up. attitudinal behavior. sad + mourning. honest labels. static sitcom. rooftop fireworks. janelle monae. mon-qua. next level. scissors + skirts. class preparation. donwill. premature bedtimes. five spot. belligerent police. backseat emcees. jalylah's smile. eastern parkway. that boy.

............

if you're here tonight...please stand after hearing your name:

karla morrison.
pamela jackson.
kwesi abbensetts.
monique brantly.
grace sanders.

...everyone, please give these people a round of applause for being the best.

so smart.

go alone the first time (no need in feeling insecure about all of your emotions)...
and the second time...bring along 4 children, and 2 adults

celestial obsession.

dear petunia,

you stink dear.
everyone always talks about how they
wish to sit right next to you.
they think that your essence will
somehow jump from your pores into
theirs. they like what you give off.
i don't like it.
i would actually prefer to stay away.
not all the time...just most of the time.

someone suggested that i bring you home
with me the other evening.
i kindly declined.

the thing is, if you came, then you would
have wanted to stay...and its not that
you're not cool...you just stink.
its your core.
i try to stay fresh. i really do try.
your mere presence alerts me to stay back.
maybe its just a personal message for me.
...because people like you..they like
you a lot. and i can't lie, you're
beautiful to look at...i just can
only observe from a distance.

perhaps i'm being a bit vain.
how could i have not thought about
this before? maybe you don't like how
i smell!!! right? i mean, its apparent
that you're okay with what you
exude...so with me being different and
all...maybe you don't care for my
"odor". ...vanity, yet again.
maybe you don't care for my odor.

........

but if that were the case, then
you wouldn't keep trying to be close
to me all the time.
i want to say that i'm confused, but
i'm not. i get you.

i'll just watch you from over here.

sincerely,
cloud