i know it is in me....

and so this means that i
must take time out for me.
to find it.

....expand my thinking.

"a fool uttereth all his mind:
but a wise woman keeepeth it in
till afterwards"
proverbs 29:11

.....
be quiet.

mawzie rocks!

you'll support if you got any sense.
www.woundedheartdesigns.etsy.com

i cannot shut my eyes.

this weekend i drove a lot.
i have never driven before in ny.
i miss driving.
i dropped them off....
too awake to go home, so i drove
around bed stuy/clinton hill.

when i turned on bedford ave....
i could only see red lights ahead
of me. as i approached every single
light, it would turn green seconds before
i would have slowed down for red.
it was beautiful.
i was alone.
but not really...
somehow, i felt like i was dancing.
and in doing my part, i just had
to trust that the lights would do
their part.
and they did.
it came to a point where i was
cruising down bedford, no longer paying
attention to the synchronicity of the lights.
knowing that everything was right.

...what did this mean?

.hmmm. after turning on gates to return
home....i had to wait at every single light.
it felt like such a long time.
it was a long time.
i would catch lights switch from yellow
to red.
and then wait.
anxious.

.....senseless banter.?
no.

i have ideas and a network.

and its time to work.

honey magazine is making a comeback!

http://www.honeymag.com/modules/realtalk/2007/05/21/imus-rap-and-me/

...spread the word.

spirits go where she goes....

the ones with horns...

pretty.

black girls...

are lovely.
i love and adore my sisters.
.....

lately i have had this odd marriage
of being both remarkably confident and surprisingly insecure.
......

i think i can only get higher.
....but it doesn't have to be that way.
....i hope i only get higher.

.

sleepwalking.

listening to: flaws and all...

i like this man a lot...
and i have for quite a while now.
most everything about him impresses me.
drive.
creativity.
poise.
beauty.
and for about a year, i have been completely infatuated with him.
although our interaction is limited, i am never disappointed.
i've enjoyed (in a floating high kind of way)...every moment
we've spent together.
he studies me everytime he sees me...
almost like he is pleased with each new discovery.
...i pretend to not notice...but i do. and i like it.

i think i'm just flatterd that HE sees and appreciates ME.
...wow.

so again...i do not see him often.
he's busy. i'm busy.
we have completely different crowds...but in this case,
somehow i am Tony, and he is Maria.
(odd, with my background and history with certain types of men
...but somehow this description works for us).

different doesn't translate into bad.
granted...
i wear big party skirts.
he wears chinos.

i'm downtown. (in every sense)
he's uptown. (classic haaaaaawwLUM)

i'm quiet around stangers.
he lives for the attention of strangers.

i'm poor.
he's pretentious.

i'm consistent. (comparatively speaking)
he's spacey.

i know. nothing major. all this can be worked out.
thursday night, a quasi credible source brought up one last difference.
...no biggie.

i like men.
he likes men.?.

hmmmm...
i cry for me to today.
but i fight for us tomorrow.
(do NOT judge me)

........FIN..........

dev's text read:
"i don't just like u. i like u, like u.
that was yesterday. and i am still singing kelis today.
men are so stupid.

...maybe i am too

courtney's text read: i love you. she went to the sky.
my aunt ann is gone.
....

yesterday shawn saw her in his dream.
she was sitting up in the hospital bed
completely restored. "it was hard
shawn...but i made it through."
no more pain.

the only hurt is felt by those left behind...
and this too shall pass.


-give thanks.

mom + aunt ann + courtney

i am sending you thoughts of peace, positivity, and understanding.

....give thanks.

myra is too fast to put up...

"aint nobody's mama thinkin i'm grown...."

ha.