ny round 2

"God this is the direction that i wish to move in...
i am now moving this way with all of my might...
if this is not where you want me to be, place stumbling blocks in my path..."

recap.
got to hartsfield at 2pm.
airtran line is wrapped all around the north terminal.
got sold the 8 something flight.
security checkpoint lines are CRAZY.
get to my terminal.
go to paschals...find a fly in my salad.
sit tight.
i despise laguardia so i am plotting how i can NOT arrive at that airport.
my flight is pushed back because a newark flight is flying out of our terminal.
YAY...the hustle begins.
airtran workers shut me down saying that the flight is closed.
pilot speaks up, and says that there are seats available.
hang around....somehow...someway...end up on the newark flight.
NICE!

indian woman to my left...white woman to my right.
take off.
over two hours have passed announcement comes
"laguardia had a black out today...so all passengers have been transported to newark.
there are horrible weather conditions in newark..and there is heavy runway traffic.
we are running out of gas, and are going to pittsburgh to refuel".
whoa.
11pm.
we deplane.
pittburgh terminal...
indian mom is on my cell phone.
white mom and i are sharing my orange.
replane.
missing folks...vietnamese man got left :(
take off.
53 minute flight from pittsburgh to newark.
circling becuase of runway traffic.
finally land.
I AM IN JERSEY. YES.
1:30am.

calling all local hotels.
everyone is booked because laguardia folks had to stay somewhere.
newark airport is mad busy this time of the morning.
i go to buy my NJ transit ticket. (all so new for me)
lady says..."noooo! your train just left at 1:55"
my cell phone reads 2:05
i say "thats cool...when is the next one?"
her face drops..."this is the break in the morning. 4:45 am"
blown.
"is there any other way i can get to penn station?"
...take this train...to that train...to newark penn station...take the path...
"ummm, is that safe. i am not from here...are there gonna be a lot of folks traveling?"
"u stay here and wait for the 4:45"
yes'm.

go downstairs.
stumbling blocks?
madddd confused.
call karla. call grace.
pop open my bible...get to reading.
wrap up in my carry-on.
set my cell to 4:35am.
i pass out.
woke up around 4am.
turn off my alarm.
walk back towards where the train comes at 4:45
same lady comes down the escalator...
"i thought u had left."
"nah, u told me to stay. i just slept for a second."
"soooo...are u taking the 4:45"
"yes mam. i set my alarm. i'll be up there at 4:45"
"NO baby. u gotta get to the railink by 4:45. nothing comes here. u need to hurry up and make ur way there now! hurry. take the p4...get off....get back on...go down to the railink. it will be there at 4:46. go!"
why?

i make it to the railink at 4:42.
train is packed with construction workers.
geez. i only like attention sometimes.
i sit by an italian guy that keep smiling at me.
don't look at me sir.
10 minutes pass...
"how was your flight?"
"fine"
"where u coming from?"
i turn my head slightly...sir...i really don't wanna talk
"atlanta"
"OH I LOVE ATLANTA"
...calm down.
he learns my final destination.
tells me what line to catch.
"brooklyn? bedstuy do or die....thats my old stomping grounds!
take the c-line all the way to kingston and throops"
we get off the train.
he proceeds to walk me where i need to be.
thanks sir. (no a genuine thanks)
5:26am
c-line arrives.
desolate.
sooooo many men keep staring.
too tired to be uncomfortable.
man begs everyone for money.
i pretend i'm sleep.

6am...i emerge from down under.
its a new day.
neighberhood is waking up.
skies are beautiful.
the old men drink their coffee and nod.
the garbage man drives by slowly giving me a thumbs up.
i feel revived.
walking down throops.
turn down macon.
old man standing in a dress shirt with no pants.
too happy to be concerned.
karla stands in the doorway waitng for me.

AND THEN IT BEGINS...
*two interviews
*one with 4 managers. one with the VP of academic technology
*i feel mad pretty.
*i am unapologetically me
*no fear (thanks God)
*i like my presentation. i like my answers. i'm likin this....
...then i meet my competition. wow. equally qualified white boys with the same agenda.
'lets work at the school so we can be educated for free'
*insecurity
*GO AWAY insecurity!
*clearly state my goals/aspirations.

and thats that.
"so glad you made it. you'll hear from us by tuesday!"

meet up with karla.
go to the subway.
penn station.
newark.
airport.
7:59 flight turns into 10:54
welcome to atlanta.

*help to release this. i have done my part...and its out of my hands.
never was in my hands....
...whew.
i'm tired.

feelin shiny....

cartwheel races...water ice...hot pink (so cool, the color gets two words), puffy skirts, slap bracelets, southeast lollipops, r. l. stein, parasucos, thick headbands, round frames, polo jackets, salute your shorts, lipsmackers, BBD (bel biv devoe tapes), beads, rolled up jeans, funakty munkaty, motions babysitters club, finding the green stone, new speedos, 13208 northgate, bel pre, bad double dutch, dominique dawes, dog tags, braids, baby hoops, l.a. gear, sparkles, stencils, now or later (NOW), dive roll, musa, ms. woo, kmart training bra, surgery, flame, dorthea, chuck brown, MASH, just for me, to hell with dying, jc penny, aau, go hoyas, flannel, champion, bigger!, hunka bunka chunka, bongo, jordans, claires discovery, bodysuits, clarissa explains it all, NICKELODEON!, peroxide and kool aid dye, jade green toes, cheetah, huffy, lock-it, roller skates, pecan tan, power, gloworm, guess triangle, polly-o string cheese, jelly belly gourmet, katie L, gymanstics, matt, booger king, pleasure!, penny drop, kickball, red voit, usa sweatpants, stride rite, lake kneedwood, towel weave, scarred legs, bike rides, the creek, crawfish, sledding, trash can tops, forts, long division, gifted AND talented, ms. christianson, baklava, gina, greece, kwanzaa, side twist, ucb, community centers....

shifty seasons...

u betta WORK gul....

2 peter 1:4-10
4 whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
5 and beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
6 and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
7 and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
8 for if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall never be barren or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 but he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from old sins.
10 wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election for sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:

its a sweet combination
diligence...faith...virtue...knowledge...temperance...patience...godliness....kindness...charity (love)...hmmmmm. yea, do better.

.................

this dream was pretty. a rich color palette. it was actually quite outstanding...some parts were in gray/black/white...but those were just the buildings. awesome shading. but outside of that...everything else was deep and vivid in color.

marcia jones and i were sitting in an office building. we sat in front of huge windows and gazed out at the gorgeous cityscape. the sunset was a teal/aqua blue, and even though the imagery resembled water, i still knew that it was a sunset. we sat there quietly lost in our thoughts. in an instant, an entire block of buildings shifted and completely blocked the sunset. it felt like the buildings slyly attempted to move over while i was caught blinking. i got scared. i jumped up, running the length of the room to try to peep around the buildings to glimpse the sun (clearly, i am miles away from the buildings). marcia and others looked shocked, but didn't too much react. all color outside of my immediate space had turned to black and white. i left everyone and ran out the room, anxious to get outside. i was too fearful to take the elevators so i ran down 15 stories. in a flash i was outside of the building, and ran out in the street and fell to my knees.

i prayed. and prayed. and prayed.
i prayed a unfocused prayer.
just screaming random praises to God.
i began to cry.
thinking of all the evil i had done.
then i smiled thinking of all i had helped.
it really was an accelerated moment of madness.
i had fleeting moments of a number of different emotions.
i then began to cry profusely because i knew God.
regardless of my behavior...God loved me...
then i began to praise my parents for stressing the
need for a personal relationship with God at such a young age.

it involved a lot...but probably was all of 10 seconds.
my body (and brain) was constantly moving...one position,
kneeling on the ground.

i then hopped up and began to walk up a slight hill...
at the top of the hill was a huge yard will with people in lawnchairs.
everyone was fixated on this huge screen that was projecting....something.
i never actually saw it. the entire time, my back was to the screen.
i saw my friends...they saved me a seat.
but i was too nervous to sit down.
i was concerned that everyone was watching...a movie i guess....when
moments earlier buildings moved...kinda like people do...to block out the sun.
milan was there. carmen. and a friend of carmen's.
there were only 2 seats left....
so i walked away, leaving them to find another seat for the person left out.

i walked away from the screen.
i walked away from them.
...and just kept walking...

*i woke up hot*
................

i got invited back for round 2 of the job interview at parsons.
woo hooo...
ny trip 2. (God's willing) tuesday....

..................

i need a sponsor for my life.
any takers?

ny day 2

day 1 was dope.

came in....
got to bedstuy....
sat down...
finished my letter of intent....
cooked dinner....
went to party with bobbito in the park (auc is everywhere...i can dig it...well, yesterday i could)

saw one of the 2 white boys at morehouse on the bus .....(he likes us, i figure)
came back home....
ate strawberries and whipped cream....
pranced and danced....
mapped out my route to the upper east side...
did my hair...(yes! it does take doing)
went to sleep....

now day 2.

the girls left me alone....
got up....
updated my portfolio...
spoke to non-enthused mom....
showered....
got dressed....(pretty snazzy if i may say so myself)
packed a bag....
left the house...
took a million trains to 91st...(okay only 2, just felt long)
arrived ridiculously early....
went to central park....
watched a duck....
went to the cooper hewitt museum....
met with the program director....
interviewed and defended why i want my masters from parsons....(to build my empire...DUH)

sat in a methodist church on park ave (beautiful architecture)....
came to union square....
ate sushi from dean and delucaa (random, i know)...
and that now brings us to the present.

- i feel mad dull right now
- i wish i had my own apartment to go to and crash right now
- bk boys...right up there with my ATLiens...yum
- chill out pam...ur here for a millisecond to what?....lets say it together
secure your future!

ha.